F & M Patio Bar

Rarely and I mean rarely have I experienced a bar server pick up a lost phone and hold on to it so they can assure they find the owner!Rose I cannot thank you enough for going the extra step and holding onto my sons phone during Mardi Gras weekend. You are a true gem!

Lets be straight. Its a bar for drunk college kids. Many memories of dancing on the pool table and eating cheese fries. Win win

I have never really liked F&M. Despite that, this was a bar where I spent many nights throughout the course of my youth (18-21). It seems that friends always wanted to go here, but I could never understand why.Fast forward to today, and it had been 15 years since I had been to this bar. Once again a friend insisted we go, so I said what the hell. As I was walking up, my reasons for disliking this bar all came flooding back to me. There were at least eight beautiful young drunk girls milling about out front. Some were crying, some were laughing while others looked like they had just vomited. Once past that scene, I reluctantly opened the door. Holy shit! In 15 years, nothing had changed.The interior still looked as if the building would collapse at any moment. The front bar was jam packed with drunken college age people. The pool table was loaded with drunk guys dancing. Who in the hell wants to see a bunch of dudes on the pool table? Women? Sure. But guys? WTF? As an added bonus the floor was covered in broken glass. This made walking around more interesting, but it did add to the divey ambiance.The back patio was even more crowded, so we headed upstairs..... Wait a minute. F&M has an upstairs? Despite hundreds (OK, maybe not hundreds) of trips here, I never remembered an upstairs. Maybe I blocked it out of my memory, but there it was, stairs and all. It was far less crowded and seemed like the best spot in the bar.Will I be back to F&M? Probably.Will I ever suggest my friends and I go here? Probably notShould you go? If you read my description of the drunk girls, crowds, and dudes on the pool table and got excited, then get here ASAP.Note: There is a couch under the stairs. It seems like a nice secluded spot to sit, but I would imagine a black light may reveal some disturbing things. Sit at your own risk.

Ugh.What it has:A pool table that is used more for dancing on than actual pool.An upstairs that you probably didn't know about.A patio that you probably didn't know about (other than the name of the place).A hiding place under the stairs.Cheese fries that taste better after a long night.College kidsWhat it doesn't have:A clean bathroomA real reason for anyone over 25 to rightfully go hereA sense of decor"Mr/Mrs Right"A proper dance floorI would like to state, that in the last 5 years I have never gone here on my own volition. I have always been BROUGHT here.

Best crazy late night scene in the Uptown area!!! People of all ages end up at F&M's for fun into the wee hours of the morning. Always a good time with tasty cheese fries and pool table dancing. Sometimes it gets crazy crowded but some of the best bartenders in the city keep things moving smoothly. Occasionally some out of town idiots try to cause trouble and start fights as they have stayed up way past their bed times and don't know how to behave themselves on New Orleans time but usually just a lot of people having a really good time dancing to mostly great music with the occasional crappy rap song thrown in. The men's bathrooms can get filthy beyond all legends and who knows what foul things might drip on you sometimes but despite all these minor issues it is always a fun time to dance the night away til dawn at F&M's!!! It is worth a visit for the cheese fries alone!

How is this place still open??? Hope ya like the smell of toilet & you're not allergic to mold/mildew lol

I wish I could give a fewer if I didn't like it in college. Went here all of college and am fully 23 now. Wouldn't let us in, but that's not what led me here. They rejected me & I went to tell them a man was passed out on the side walk and they told me to fuck myself... screw being a Good Samaritan I guess!

AMAZ-BALLS!!!!! Haven't been to this place in 10+ years and STILL dream of their cheese fries!! I used to slip the pickup order line guy a $20 so I didn't have to wait in the wicked LONNNNGGGG line for a big basket of these crusted cheesy perfect deep fried golden GOOOOOOOOOODDDDDNESS!!oh how i miss you cheesy god fries...

Bouncer of May 27th 2023 was extremely rude! Awful service. Extremely unwelcoming and mocked potential customers. Also ugly inside and out.

Cheap drinks, and a young crowd. Patio is great, and there's always people dancing on every table surface.